I’m a Mum!

Well hello! I bet you’d forgotten about me, hadn’t you! I am sorry it’s been so long since I last wrote anything, but there’s a very good reason for that. Say hello to my beautiful daughter, Niamh Esmee Iris Campion.

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Niamh is Irish and pronounced like Eve but starts with an N. It means bright/beautiful/radiant. Esmee is French and means loved, and Iris was the goddess of the rainbow in Greek mythology. My family are Irish, my husband’s surname has French origins and she is our rainbow baby, so all 3 names are very fitting.

I honestly didn’t think the day would ever come that I would be able to write ‘my daughter’. It’s all still very surreal, in the most wonderful way.

I only wrote one post during my pregnancy. To be completely honest I was terrified I would have another miscarriage, so even the thought of writing about being pregnant felt like I would be tempting fate. Because of this, and my ever increasing anxiety, I didn’t enjoy being pregnant. I wanted to, but I also just wanted her to be OK, to be safe, healthy, and to survive. Add to that a not very empathetic consultant, and by the last month I was in a real state.

In the end it was decided that a Caesarian Section was the best option. I cannot say enough positive things about the delivery team in theatre. They really were wonderful and looked after us both so, so well. To anyone who thinks a C-Section is the ‘easy way’, and I’ve heard that more than once, let me tell you it really isn’t. I could write a lot about this, but it will only annoy me, and I want this to be a happy post.

So, I’m a Mum! It’s the hardest ‘job’ I’ve ever done, but the one I wanted more than anything. The hours are long, the pay is quite frankly criminal, but the rewards, well, they’re just everything. When she smiles at me I feel as though my heart might burst. I never thought I would be proud of someone for burping, but she does it with such style!

I haven’t found it easy adjusting to becoming a Mum. If I said I never thought beyond being pregnant to what it would actually be like when we brought her home from the hospital, would you judge me? Well, it’s true. For 9 months I simply willed my body to keep her safe, and so having her here with us has been amazing and completely terrifying. For the first few nights we just watched her sleep, mainly to make sure she was alive, but also to try and take in this beautiful little person that we made. She is the best thing to ever happen to us and we are so besotted with her. How I’ll ever do anything productive ever again I do not know, other than looking after her obviously!

So, I am back now, but please bear with me while I enjoy my time with my most precious girl.

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