I am about to have one hell of a rant, so hold on to your hats.
You may know that last year I underwent a course of CBT, due to my ongoing anxiety. Initially I was apprehensive about going as I really wasn’t sure what I was letting myself in for, but it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was not easy, in fact at times it felt like I’d been completely drained, but it was so beneficial. I learned techniques on how to deal with my anxiety, but most of all I learned a lot about myself. My therapist was just wonderful. The most patient and encouraging man. He helped so much and I’ll be forever thankful and grateful.
So, where’s the rant you may ask. Hang on…
Following my very successful CBT last year I’ll admit that I thought I’d had my Disney ‘happy ending’. I’d completed my therapy, got a promotion and was about to get married. How could I not be happy with all that? Well, fast forward to July this year and that’s when things went spectacularly downhill. I had a miscarriage and my happy little world fell apart. So, last month I went to see my GP to ask for some help, and by that I mean therapy. (This is where the rant really kicks in)
When I had my CBT sessions last year I lived in a different part of Manchester, which basically has its own council so can therefore assign money differently. What I wouldn’t give to be back there now. The part of Manchester I currently live in obviously has to provide support to a lot more people, and as we all know budgets are constantly being cut. I do not blame the Council for what’s happened, but something has to change. I have spent the best part of half a day waiting for a phone call from the local Psychological Support Service to be assessed. When I finally received the call, and spent almost an hour answering very intimate questions, I was told that the service they offer won’t provide the support I need. Instead I will be referred for ‘high intensity’ CBT. Great, I thought. Here’s the blow: the waiting list is a minimum of SIX MONTHS. So, what do I do now? I guess my options are:
a) do nothing and hope there’s a cancellation, or rather 5 months and 1 week worth of cancellations
b) go back to the doctor who will offer anti-depressants (I have nothing against them. I took them for over a year and they really helped me, but I don’t want to take them right now)
c) pay for private therapy, which is not cheap and I cannot afford
Right now I’m so angry I could cry. I honestly am at a loss as to where to turn next.
Have you found yourself in a similar position? How did you deal with it?