Friday 2nd May – PCOS can PCOS right off!

I am so sick of having PCOS. I have had enough of feeling like this, and by this I mean tearful, tired, depressed, anxious, totally disappointed in my body, fed up with everything, angry, and in constant pain. 

OK, so I know pretty much all of those symptoms can happen anyway to anyone, but they’re the ones I’m suffering with right now, the pain being the worst one. I used to get a lot of pain in my sides, which would radiate down to my groin and round to my back. It would be there when I sat still, when I moved, always. But it’s not happened for so long, so I got a bit smug and thought things were getting better. Well it’s made a bitch of a dramatic return and has totally floored me. I’ve also got an extremely embarrassing shooting pain in places I don’t want to mention, and I am just beyond done with it. I’m sick of ‘being positive’ and being told I’m ‘doing so well’. NO, I’m not. I am really, really not doing well. 

I feel like I’ve taken about 20 steps backwards since starting everything, and I am so disappointed in myself right now. I feel selfish for wanting to just be ‘normal’, whatever that is. I know that in reality I am very lucky compared to a lot of people, but for once I just want to say that I don’t feel lucky. Yes, I probably sound like I’m being totally self indulgent and feeling sorry for myself, but I honestly don’t care right now. I would just like something to go right and be easy for me. Everything always feels like such hard work. I am so tired of always having to fight and then never getting anywhere. In fact I am just tired. I just want to go to sleep and wake up when everything is sorted. I know how childish that sounds, but it’s how I feel so please don’t judge me for it. 

I think we all know the answer to this one for me. 


2 thoughts on “Friday 2nd May – PCOS can PCOS right off!

  1. I don't think this sounds childish at all. Everyone feels like this sometimes, and while there are people out there worse off, that shouldn't detract from the fact you are putting up with a lot! There is no shame in feeling sorry for yourself every now and then. It's good for the soul!
    Hope you feel better soon. India x


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