Sunday 13th April – My 150th Post!

I actually cannot believe this is my 150th post! If you have read even 1 of my other posts then THANK YOU! 

When I first started writing this blog on 1st July 2013 (First ever blog post!) I was completely clueless about what to write and whether anyone would even read it. I am currently so close to hitting 10,000 views and I’m overwhelmed. I have met some truly amazing people since starting this blog, some in person, some virtually, and they have all inspired me one or another, so thank you for being part of this.  

The real reason I started the blog was to track my progress on a completely new healthy eating and training programme with the help of my, quite frankly brilliant, personal trainer, Chris. He knew about my absolute terror of stepping foot inside a gym, hence the title ‘fighting the fear’, but has been ridiculously encouraging and supportive from the start. He thought it would be a good idea to track my progress online to show him, and others, what it’s really like to sign up with a personal trainer and totally overhaul your way of eating and training. 

I’ll be completely honest, as always, if I could have predicted last summer the struggles I’ve had along the way I’m not sure I would have started this. BUT, the benefits definitely outweigh the tears and lack of belief in myself. It is NOT easy, and hasn’t been at any point so far, but then I think that’s what makes me all the more determined to do this. I am extremely stubborn and do not like to lose, so just because I feel like giving up doesn’t mean I will. (Reading that last sentence back makes me smile as this time last year I would not have said that. I was in such a bad place that I would not have believed I could do any of what I have achieved so far). 

Another reason for writing this blog was to share my experience of having PCOS. I have always struggled with it, not just physically but emotionally too. I see it as my biggest failure and something that is completely out of my control. Not a good combination for a perfectionist! But, I’ve been much more open about how it makes me feel, the symptoms I struggle with on an almost daily basis, and the fact that slowly but surely things are improving. Yes, my skin still flares up a lot, yes, my periods are still erratic, BUT I have lost weight! Yes, it’s taken forever and No, I’m not at my goal, BUT it’s all going in the right direction. 


Having this split photo really helps when I’m having an ‘off’ day. The photo on the left was taken last July, just as I was starting to make all the changes. It really scares me to look at it now. I look ill, and in a way I was. I wasn’t eating properly and wasn’t exercising. I was extremely miserable but always put the ‘fake’ smile on. The photo on the right (the one where I’m wearing a dress!!) was taken in January. Even I can see a difference! I will take another photo in July to mark the one year anniversary of changing my life for the better. I hope there will be another noticeable difference in that too. 


So, on top of all that, I have admitted on this blog that I am having CBT therapy. I have a session this week in fact. I am finding it really helpful for my self esteem and anxiety issues, another beautiful side effect of the PCOS! I was very sceptical of therapy before starting it, but I have been 100% honest with my therapist about my reservations and total apprehension at opening up, and so far it seems to have worked in my favour. I will, of course, keep you updated. 

The last 149 posts have been fairly mixed: there’s lots of training information included to show the progress I have made in the gym; there’s a fair few PCOS specific posts to try and inform people what it really feels like to have it; there are quite a lot of sad posts where I’ve had a really bad few days and decided to share that with anyone who might read it; there are also some really positive posts too, like this one, to show that above all else I am so glad I made the changes I did last summer. 

I want to take this opportunity to say an absolutely gigantic THANK YOU to my truly amazing personal trainer, Chris Main. You have inspired, supported, encouraged, listened, and put up with some major crap from me. I could not have done this without you. I am more grateful than you will ever know. Please never move! (OK that’s it, I’m not saying any more nice things about you!) 

I also want to thank you lovely readers for all your words of support and encouragement. It’s so good to know there are people out there willing me to do well. I also hope I can return the favour in some way. I am always happy to chat about anything mentioned above so please feel free to either leave a comment or contact me via email: fearfighter2013@gmail.com 


Here’s to the next 150 posts and 10,000 more views! 









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