Wednesday 15th January – Learning to ‘let go’

Over the last seven months I have worked really hard to lose weight, prepare myself mentally to step into the ‘big unknown’ that is the gym, work on getting fit and healthy, and eventually build my confidence. I was really starting to feel in control of everything, which I never have before, but right now I am struggling. 
One of the main reasons I put off going to the gym for so long was my complete terror of being judged by others, but once I eventually made it in there I realised that it was actually an extremely supportive environment and actually started to feel at home. Without going in to detail  that feeling of ‘belonging’ was shaken today. The reason why doesn’t matter, and I am probably completely overreacting, but it just brought back lots of bad memories and all of my insecurities. I was initially embarrassed and upset, but that has now turned to anger. The old me would react by giving up, but I refuse to do that now. I just wish people engaged their brains before acting in certain ways. So for now I’m more than a little bit fed up, but that will pass, eventually……

Anyway, back to the important stuff. Training! 

So here’s a recap of my two most recent training sessions:

Saturday ‘strength’ training

Trap bar deadlift
4 sets of 10 lifts, 2 sets with just the bar and 2 sets with 5kg per side

Heavy supinated pulldowns
1 set of 5 reps at 50kg, 3 sets of 5 reps at 65kg

Boxing madness
multi height hooks
ground and pound mixed with hooks on pads

Tonight’s training

Leg Press – 4 sets of 20 reps at 100kg & Supinated pull downs – 4 sets of 20 reps at 50kg, 45kg, 40kg and 40kg 

Leg Press – 4 sets of 15 reps at 120kg & Neutral pull downs – 4 sets of 15 reps at 40kg

Boxing combinations

Sledgehammer and tyre – 4 sets of 15 reps & Slam ball – 4 sets of 10 reps

More boxing combinations 

Tonight’s training was so hard!! I really, really struggled and suffered! The first two lots listed, of leg press and pull downs, were constant. I wasn’t allowed a rest until I’d done all 4 sets of each. My thighs were killing and my arms were burning! It’s definitely feeling tough at the moment, but hopefully I’ll get better, and soon, as I hate not being able to do them well. I got extremely frustrated when boxing as my arms were so tired from the pull downs. I mean I was really mad! I can safely say that’s the most tired I’ve felt in a long time. But hey that’s good, right?! 

Anyway, now I’ve had my rant I can hopefully ‘let go’, something I am not good at. But I know it’s not worth it and I am not being beaten, by anyone. 


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