Happy Sunday everyone!
So I’m feeling at a bit of a crossroads at the moment, which you may have guessed from my sporadic and emotional posts.
When I started all of this back in July, I had one goal: lose weight.
I was totally and completely committed to that one goal. Nothing else mattered. To be fair I think that makes sense. As far as I was concerned, I was going to eat healthily, start training (eventually), lose weight and be happy. Such a fairytale concept!
In reality I’ve adjusted to the healthy eating (but still crave bread like you wouldn’t believe!), and am actually enjoying the training with Chris (although it’s tough and I am not doing that great with a lot of it), but have uncovered, or rather admitted to myself, that it isn’t as simple as I had hoped.
I am now more aware of what I don’t want: to be miserable, to have no confidence, to carry on doing a job just because it’s comfortable, to not push myself
So what do I want?
To be healthy and happy
Well not so simple for me. I am a total drama queen after all!
So what am I going to do about it?
Well, I have started to disengage my head from the bucket of sand it has been hiding in for as long as I can remember, and it’s a scary process. I am admitting to myself that things need to change, also a scary process. BUT I AM admitting it.
I just have to find all of the other pieces…
It is definitely expensive to be healthy. I seem to be at the supermarket at least two or three times per week. Maybe I should get a job there so I can at least get a staff discount!
Food today: venison sausages and poached eggs for breakfast, some dark chocolate (because I’m hormonal and well that’s enough of a reason!!), soup for lunch (tomato, probably not allowed…), steak, broccoli, corn and sweet potato for dinner
I haven’t actually had lunch or dinner yet as I’m writing this during the day, but I have planned to have the above to eat.
I am sure the venison sausages will upset some people, but I’m not going to apologise for eating them. They taste good, are low fat and full of protein, and I am trying to eat something other than chicken!
I am going to try and bake some paleo and protein friendly goodies soon. Another step on the road to all things healthy! I will of course keep you updated on the progress with that.
I actually feel pretty good today and am really pleased that through writing this blog I’ve come to some sort of realisation about things. Yes they seem a bit rubbish at the moment, but if everything was easy then you wouldn’t appreciate the good things when they happen.